| Thursday, August 31, 2006 |
| What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger (..... ??) |
Okay, so how ridiculous is it that it's been over a month since the last time I posted?! In fact, I'm just getting in what turns out to be my *one* solitary August '06 post under the wire. Wow, has life been crazy lately. Not that it's a valid excuse, and anyone who knows me well knows what a flake I can be... Especially when life overwhelms me.
The good news is, it's not all bad. In fact there's a lot of stuff going on that's good and/or exciting. Some of the overwhelming-ness (is that a word?) just outshines the good stuff though, especially when the reward part isn't always immediate.
Am I rambling? I know, highly unusual for me, but at least I'm writing, right (Don't mind me, just reassuring myself!)?! So where do I start" My recent Flickr additions show one of the big things that's been going on: My sister just got married to her boyfriend a couple weeks ago on the shore of Lake Tahoe.
 The other, probably most major thing (certainly in the top 5 or maybe even top 3 major things ever to have happened to me) is that I've made the decision to buy out my sister. Our house is officially off the market, now it's just a matter of getting the loan put through. With the equity in the house, there's no doubt that I will get a loan (even with my formerly not-so-good, now virtually non-existent credit), the question is how bad will the interest rate be, and how much of a struggle will it be to make the payments (I guess technically that's two questions, but who's counting?... Not to mention for me to take control of all the bills and taxes and everything else I've become pretty disorganized about in the last decade or so, since depression first became a chronic issue for me. Anyway, unfortunately, due to my lack of credit, it looks like I will have to have my sister cosign, at least until I can get my own at-least-somewhat-decent interest rate. This kinda sucks, because one of the main points of my sister moving out and our plan to sell the house was for us to no longer be connected/attached (whatever you want to call it) financially. But that's enough about that point, for now at least.
*Whew*... A mouthful already, and I feel it's just scratching the surface of everything. Really, I think I've hit the two most crucial things that are happening at the moment. The other morning it hit home how stressed I was when my eye started twitching, and didn't stop for several hours... And again when I was nodding off at the computer later that day for the first time since I started my leave (for exhaustion/sleep apnea/etc) almost a year ago (for the uninformed, I've been back working part time, also due to aforementioned issues, for approx. the last 6 mos.).
Oh yes, let me touch on just one more big (no pun intended) source of stress (among other not-so-happy emotions) lately, and that is my continuing slide out of shape and into a higher weight (if it's possible to "slide" into something "higher"). Seriously, it is so hard to not constantly kick myself for letting myself get out of shape in the first place; and having no energy from being depressed and being out of shape just makes it incredibly difficult to change things for the better. I know this is not the first time I've lamented about this. But it's getting increasingly frustrating, and I know it has to change before I end up turning into Jabba the Hut (comparison used for the unmoving mass of nothing as much as for the fat reference). It will change.... It has to change, and I have, in fact, been taking steps to get my life back into some kind of semblance of being under control. This one particular aspect just hasn't started progressing much as of yet. But I swear on everything that is holy (Is that a sin, to swear on that which is holy? Just curious). It will get better. |
posted by ShooShoo @ 11:13 PM   |
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| 1 Comments: |
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Shoo,
this post made me want to respond immediately, but instead I waited and thought. I reminded myself that you have good people around you and that I am just a random blogging bud, but I want you to know that I am sad that you still having some ups and downs. I'm proud of your decisions though! Go Shoo! And I'm really glad that I know you, in this limited way. Hang in there. You are doing just fine!
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Shoo,
this post made me want to respond immediately, but instead I waited and thought. I reminded myself that you have good people around you and that I am just a random blogging bud, but I want you to know that I am sad that you still having some ups and downs. I'm proud of your decisions though! Go Shoo! And I'm really glad that I know you, in this limited way. Hang in there. You are doing just fine!